
For 2-6 players

### Setting
Clothing stores are recommended, but any store can be used

### Objective
Build friendship between players by casually exploring a store. Purchasing items is incidental and should not be treated as an objective.

### Setup
The players agree to meet at a store and head to a particular department of the store. Players should stay in close enough proximity of each other to communicate easily.

### How to Play
The players peruse merchandise in the store within a close distance of each other, and take turns in no particular order calling attention to the items that they find. This action constitutes the start of a round. After several rounds, the players may move to another department or part of the store. Players continue initiating rounds and changing locations until the end of the game.

### During the Round
The player who initiated the round must first explain why they called out their particular item as the subject of the round. The other players are encouraged to then provide their input on this judgement and on the item generally. This can take the form of support for purchasing the item, casual dismissal of the item due to absent or present properties, mild ridicule and charades, etc. Players should not feel pressured to treat the item as seriously under consideration for purchase, and should keep their comments light. Humor is encouraged at the expense of the item or store - other players can be lightly ribbed but should not be mocked.

### Store Employees
The size of a store determines how much the humorous aspect of the game should be concealed from store employees. Poking fun at the merchandise is much more acceptable at Target vs a mom-and-pop boutique.

### Extended Play
In the case that the game has been occurring in a small store or the players don’t have anything better to do, the game may continue by the players moving to another store.

### End of the Game
The game is over when the players have finished perusing the store, or the players decide to purchase several things, or the players are tired and want to go home.

The Browsing Game - from “Games Cis Women Play”

Katrina: “Never really got into PSLs. Lia took me out for them during the initial craze but I wasn’t impressed. It was just like the Cheers nights, we were two “besties” ironically enjoying this Starbucks drink, and it only served to highlight my alienation from my friend group and marriage.”
Ames: “Mmm, tasty! You know, Ad Age had a piece a few years back about Starbucks changing the pumpkin spice latte recipe to include actual pumpkin. Shortly after that, Ketel One approached us about following suit with a campaign about their infusion process. We ran a cohort analysis and… why are you getting up? Did I do something wrong?”
Reese: “You want me to drink that? Ew no, I would never stoop to something so gauche and basic.” Downs two while her date is in the bathroom

How the main characters of Detransition, Baby by Torrey Peters would drink a Rontoms Pumpkin Spice Margarita


The other night I was in an argument with my wife about a miss between us during a shopping trip. Without going into details, I responded harshly to something she did and it hurt her feelings. As we drove home, she told me that it hurt her because I usually choose to be harsh to get her to comply, rather than guiding her with softness. She was right. To me, the ability to gently direct through softness is a hallmark of femininity, and as a transgender woman early in her transition there is nothing that I would like more than to find and express my femininity naturally. Her remark was an arrow to the bullseye, and I spent most of the night crying after that. 

My buildup to transition occurred on a number of fronts, but one important to this discussion was my role as a manager at a small startup. I was responsible for the workload of ten people, assigning tasks, doing daily and weekly checkins, and informing my supervisors of progress on our work. I found myself growing more severe as pressure from my supervisors increased on me and my team. The month I started questioning my gender, I had pushed the team through three weekends of work to deliver a functional MVP for a trade show.  I was stern, cold, and relentless. And it worked, I got results - at the expense of my own self-worth and the confidence of my team. At the same time I was beginning to hate seeing my frown in the mirror and hearing my deep voice on calls.

This is cliche, but I started playing Animal Crossing in my off hours that winter to blow off steam. It was relaxing, beautiful and low-effort. Most importantly, the game’s expectations of me in terms of social interactions were forgiving and based on reciprocity. While making friends with the villagers of my virtual island, I discovered my love for running around the island in dresses they gifted to me. With teal hair, funky sunglasses and a midi dress, I felt like I could take on anything. I got really into experimenting with feminine outfits and so of course I had to try on the real thing from there.

I could see the contrast between my video game island and how I treated my virtual neighbors there, and bringing down the hammer on my staff at work every day. I wanted out. I wanted softness, and I wanted to have it everywhere. I wanted to carry it within myself. I wanted femininity in behavior, in thought, and in form. After a few more months I quit my job to get my head straight, and began a phase of intense gender questioning through learning and experimentation.

Since I first recognized myself as trans, certain social groups and contexts have helped me find my softness in femininity, but I still have a long way to go. I’ve been an active participant in a local transfeminine support group for nearly five months now. At first I was scared of attending - I was worried that I was going to be seen as a fraud, and honestly I had some transphobic feelings of disgust around non-“passing” people that I hadn’t confronted. These feelings vanished the first time I sat in a circle with the other members of the group, and I felt a burden lifted from me. I could sense a palpable charge of femininity in the room, and it was kind and welcoming. It felt easier to be open with my feelings there, and people hugged each other as we concluded. Returning home after the next several meetings became bittersweet, because carrying that softness home and into my daily life has been hard for me to do on my own. I feel a sense of belonging and security when I’m with my support group, and it takes effort to sustain those feelings with confidence when I am without.

It’s been 10 months since I started gender questioning, and 6 months since I made the choice to start my transition. Although these timelines are extremely short, I find myself worrying every day about whether I will succeed in finding and expressing the femininity in myself as my primary way of being. I worry that I have damaged myself - or been coercively damaged - beyond recovery by the masculinity I tried to live for 33 years. But I know that to do the work and attempt that softness every chance I can get is how I’m going to make any progress at confronting that thought, so I’m trying.


Human Kibble

How the main characters of Detransition, Baby by Torrey Peters would drink a Rontoms Pumpkin Spice Margarita

The Browsing Game - from “Games Cis Women Play”

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I Want to Find My Softness